by Jack Kornfield
Sit comfortably, eyes closed, breathe normally. Let your body and mind relax. Breathing gently into the area of your heart, feel all the barriers you have erected and the emotions that you have carried because you have not forgiven - not forgiven yourself, not forgiven others. Feel the pain of keeping your heart closed. Then, breathing softly, begin asking and extending forgiveness, reciting the following words, letting the images and feelings that come up grow deeper as you repeat them.
ASKING FOR FORGIVENESS:
“There are many ways that I have hurt and harmed others, have betrayed or abandoned them, cause them suffering, intentionally or unintentionally, out of my pain, fear, anger and confusion.”
Remember and visualize the ways you have hurt others. See and feel the pain you have caused out of your own fear and confusion. Feel your own sorrow and regret. Sense that finally you can release this burden and ask for forgiveness. Picture each memory that still burdens your heart. And then to each person in your mind repeat:
“I ask for your forgiveness, I ask for your forgiveness.”
FORGIVENESS FOR YOURSELF:
“There are many ways that I have hurt and harmed myself. I have betrayed or abandoned myself many times through thought, word, or deed, intentionally or unintentionally.”
Mindful of your body and life. Reflect on the ways you have hurt or harmed yourself. Picture them, remember them. Feel the sorrow you have carried from this and sense that you can release these burdens. Extend forgiveness for each of them, one by one. Repeat to yourself:
“For the ways I have hurt myself through action or inaction, out of fear, pain and confusion, I now extend a full and heartfelt forgiveness. I forgive myself, I forgive myself.”
FORGIVENESS FOR THOSE WHO HAVE HURT YOU:
“There are many ways that I have been harmed by others, abused or abandoned, intentionally or unintentionally, in thought, word or deed.”
Picture and remember these many ways. Feel the sorrow you have carried from the past and sense that you can release this burden of pain by extending forgiveness when your heart is ready. By saying:
“I now remember the many ways others have hurt or harmed me, wounded me, out of fear, pain, confusion and anger. I have carried this pain in my heart for too long. To the extent that I am ready, I offer them forgiveness. To those who have caused me harm, I offer my forgiveness, I forgive you.”
Let yourself gently repeat these three directions for forgiveness until you feel a release in your heart. For some great pains you may not feel a release but only the burden and the anguish or anger you have held. Touch this softly. Be forgiving of yourself for not being ready to let go and move on. Forgiveness cannot be forced; it cannot be artificial. Simply continue the practice and let the words and images work gradually in their own way. In time you can make the forgiveness meditation a regular part of your life, letting go of the past and opening your heart to each new moment with a wise loving kindness.